So last Thursday I went for my first I.V Chemo treatment and it went well, no side effects to complain about and I felt like a new person for about 4 days, then the pain returned. It was not as severe as it had been but my left knee really gave me a fit, I attributed this to the fact that the knee was compromised from old injuries and the cancer only made it worse. My morphinde was kicked up to 180 mg a day, do you have any idea what that much morphine does to your ability to have a bowl movement? Don’t say ewww, I know what your’e thinking “Why is she sharing this?” well you know what they say about misery loving company!!
Anyway, found a solution and problem solved! Yeah for me!! O.K, back to current events. Today was my second chemo treatment and to say it went well would be an understatement, I fell asleep people, yep, sound asleep but the nurse said at least I didn’t snore. I mean really, how embarrassing would that have been? and knowing me I probably would have drooled too! My knee still hurts but I have a brace and some over the counter meds that help. The doc said that he expects me to be able to come off the morphine after a few more treatments, that alone is worth doing the chemo. Without the drugs what will I ever use as an excuse for my behavior?
As I go through the twists and turns that cancer presents to me, I am constantly aware of how blessed I am. God has given me the strength to grow mentally, spiritually,and emotionally, all the while surrounding me with people that lift me up and give me inspiration. Had it not been for getting cancer I may never have fully understood the depth of their love and friendship. My “hair” family hold a special place in my heart, they could have bailed on me but instead have remained faithful and supportive, I owe them so much but how do you repay such love and devotion? (there’s a country song in there somewhere!)
I often think about Job and the trials he suffered, what I face each day pales in comparison. I don’t know how much time I have or if we (I)started the chemo too late to give me extra time, but what I do know and care the most about is this: Every word and every action that comes from me must glorify God.
JOB 6:11 “What is my strength, that I should hope? and what is mine end, that I should prolong my life?”
God is MY strength and my end is what ever God sees fit to glorify him.
Beautifully said and such a blessing to be a part of your life and to see how God is using you for His glory!!! What a testimony you have to the peace and comfort God will provide to those that love Him. My love and prayer are with you.