This past week has been an exercise in accepting change. Physically speaking, things are pretty much the same and I had a good visit with the doctor. The facility where I go has been running behind by as much as an hour for the past several months due to an over abundance of patients and not enough doctors. I am not long on patients and my dad has even less so you can imagine what Thursday was like! Actually dad did pretty good under the circumstances. There is a new doctor added to the staff so hopefully things will get back to normal. I mention this because each of us on a regular basis is faced with the task of “waiting patiently” rather in line or what have you and how we conduct ourselves is important. I’m not talking about our words, though that is important, I’m talking body language. Do you fidget, huff, or just show your impatience in general? I got to thinking about what we would look like to a deaf person and if our body language would say we were behaving as Christians. These things have become so important to me in part because I want to make sure that the impression I leave behind, the memory that people will speak of will be of a woman who loved Christ. Now I don’t handle change well so you can imagine how cancer has put that side of me to the test and just when I was convinced that I had that mastered, my pastor retired! This was not a sudden decision, in fact we all knew of his decision well in advance and I was actually happy for him. I have known him nearly 20 years and I can honestly tell you that he played the first and very major role in me becoming who I am today. Shoot, he deserved to retire just from guiding me through the last 18 years journey and I have no doubt that he wanted to strangle me more than once. I thank God every day that he didn’t give up on me and that he saw in me what I’m sure few others could. As I said I was happy for him and while others may have shed tears I never did but not because I didn’t care but because just like with my diagnoses, I believe that it is God’s will and it will be alright. The 19th of this month was his last day and until yesterday it didn’t occur to me that I would no longer be greeted by him with a hug that was both that of a father and a mentor. I know that he will be back to visit and of course to do my service when I pass but it will never be the same. So, God has given me (and others I’m certain) another hill to climb and a change we must face while trusting him to send us a man worthy to lead our congregation. I understand now why life and change can be more difficult for a christian, it is because we care on a biblical level which is something a non christian could never understand. I know that growing as a christian can sometimes be painful and it needs to be otherwise we wouldn’t feel the need to go to Christ in prayer but I know for a fact that my having cancer has made me more aware of some things that may have escaped me or seemed less important than they actually are. I count these things as a blessing and look forward to what God has in store for me next!!
Micah 6:1
Hear ye now what the Lord saith; Arise, contend thou before me the mountains, and let the hills hear thy voice.
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