Today we got some encouraging news, there was no further change in the bone survey from November to January which means no additional tumors or change in the size of the tumors! Also, the new chemo seems to be working so we went for a “smidgen” of increase. I warned the doc that I knew what a smidgen was and he smiled cause he knew I’d come after him if he increased a dollop instead of the agreed upon smidgen!! One of the unexpected side effects I’m dealing with is very dry skin so I’m on a mission to find the best cream to combat this (I hate ashy skin). I slept for 2 hours after I got back home because chemo also makes me very tired right after and usually the following day. I have plans for tomorrow so tired is not an option!!! Overall I am feeling very encouraged about this new chemo drug, and I found a great website that gave great detail on this new drug: RXlist.com and research shows additional time at 13.2 months as long as it works but I know that God has his own time table so I’ll keep chillin’ and trusting God for whatever time I have left. I’m very excited to go and be with the Lord but I would love to live long enough to see daddy and Mama J renew their vows, and of course I want to see my Hannah go to college, get married,and have children (I am an awesome labor and delivery coach) I’ve done it 3 times!! But I know that whatever I think I’ll miss won’t really be missed while I’m hang’n with Jesus now will it? I find myself studying people more closely, listening more intently at the meaning behind their words and I think it’s because what they have to say matters on a deeper level now (this only applies to my friends and family for the most part) though I am often intrigued by what comes out of a strangers mouth! Questions, I have a few. Why is someone 70 willing to go to all lengths, be sick as a dog for weeks on end unable to “live” life just to get an extra 6 months, while others (myself included) refuse to compromise quality for quantity regardless of the time they have left? I have been obsessed with his question for months now and I can only think of one reason: FEAR. Fear of the unknown (what happens to me after I die?) if you have to ask then you aren’t saved. I’m not suggesting that you shouldn’t want to live, shoot I want to live, I’m just not afraid to die. There’s a gigantic difference don’t ya think?! Well enough pontificating (that’s for you Pastor) for now, too much makes my head hurt!! As always I want to thank you for all the prayers and genuine love and concern, I feel the prayers and it makes my heart full. To mom and Mama J for being their and having my back, where would I be without the needed support each of you offer in your own special way? I love all of you so very much. I will have a surprise to show some of you soon (not Pastor!) ha!
Kathy forwarded me something and there was scripture at the end that spoke to the very heart of my thinking so I’m gonna borrow it and use it today, thanks Kathy.
ACTS 20 22-24
I especially connect with verse 24.
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