Wow, where do I start? This has been a week of change starting with surgery on my left hand that went well but every thing that was pre-op was completely different than the first time. Also, the first time was at Porters Neck and I was in and out in 2 hours flat. This time it was at Cape Fear Hospital and it was 3 hours before I went back for surgery, I was cranky, anxious, thirsty, hungry and wanted coffee more than then air I was breathing!!! If you know me you are not surprised by that statement. However, everyone was awesome and surprisingly cheerful for 7:30 in the morning! I am proud to say that the doc told me he hadn’t seen a smile as big as mine in quite a while (does saying that constitute pride?) well if so I only mention it to make a point: no matter how we may be feeling at a particular moment, we must always be aware of what we are showing to others. We are a mirror for others to look upon and see Jesus and know that he lives inside of us at all times. I love my God soooo much that at times it actually makes me cry to know that regardless of how much I try, I will never be able to show my love for him to it’s fullest(I am but a mere mortal) but then I remember that as much as I love him he loves me a gazillion times around the world and back. How cool is that?
Now for chemo update: the new meds are wonderful and working to relieve the pain, in fact on a scale of 1-10 it’s a 1-2!!! I allowed the doc to increase it last week and will continue to allow increases each cycle as long as it doesn’t interfere with my quality of life. 6 chemo meds until one worked so I choose to believe that God saved the newest(and apparently the best) for me, now that makes me feel special! My friend Star drove me to my appointment, got me food when I realized it was 3:00 and I hadn’t eaten, sat with me when they allowed her back in the infusion area. In short, she took good care of me as she always does when we are together and we have a fun time regardless what we’re doing. Incidentally, while I was waiting to get my miracle drug my P.A had to re wrap my hand and arm because the circulation was being cut off and my fingers looked like stuffed Italian sausages! Thank you Sandra, you rock! I know I say this from time to time but it needs to be said, I am thankful for my cancer. My life was already blessed but it has been magnified 100x’s over and more since being diagnosed. I won’t tell you that I do a happy dance whenever I’m having a tough day but I can honestly tell you that I am thankful for them, they are reminders of Gods grace and mercy, that good days should not be taken for granted and tough days are for quiet contemplation and a chance to recharge/refresh the body,mind and soul. All of these can take a real beating in the best of times and most of us never take the time to take care of the vessel God gave us to be used for HIS purpose, not ours. I read something I want to share, it feels personal to me somehow, here goes..
My candle’s burning at both ends
it will not last the night
but oh, my foes
and ahh, dear friends
it casts a lovely light.
This is our memory verse for bible study but it’s fitting for now as well.
Psalm 19:14
Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight,
O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer.
And from me..Let your face show your love for and unshakable faith in JESUS!
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