February 13-Nothing to Miss!

This week has been chemo free but not doctor free, Wednesday was my follow up after hand surgery. In spite of me getting my soft cast wet and cutting it off myself 4 days early, everything is healing as expected. Monday Star and I went to visit Mama J, we walked 1 1/2 miles, ate lunch and sat around and talked. During our walk (it was a beautiful day) I felt a sadness that I couldn’t find a reason for so I tried to shake it off. I noted the 3 beautiful boxers in a neighbors yard, the flowers starting to pop through the earth, and the 2 wonderful women I had as walking companions. Suddenly a soft breeze passed across my face and I knew why I had been sad. You see, every day we all take the smallest but important things for granted, things that, for me bring a smile to my heart and my face. How often do we really think about the small things that make up the happiness of our lives? I love and appreciate the grace and beauty of a flock of geese in a perfect V formation heading to their next destination. I could easily list a hundred things that make me smile and appreciate all that God has created. This is why I was sad. Over the years I have heard people say that they would miss this or that if they died, I never understood how a person could miss anything if they were going to be with Jesus (this assumes they are going to heaven!) but now I get it. Now it’s true that once we are with Jesus we will not miss anything because we will be with Jesus and have need for and lack of nothing. So why do we say we will miss anything? I can only speak for myself and this is what I know…I love and appreciate all that God has allowed me to enjoy from the smallest thing to the biggest, I thought that I would lose all of that but after much thought I now know that whatever I have been blessed with here will pale in comparison to what I will be blessed with in heaven just being with my Lord. I actually knew that already but somehow my walk gave me an understanding on a much deeper level. Ya know, it’s funny but just when I think I have it all figured out and I can pack my bags for the express train to heaven, something new comes along that the Lord wants me to learn. At this rate I may live to be a very old woman!! My legs have been bothering me but it feels more like soreness from over doing it rather than the cancer. Thursday was errand day and I even managed to work out making sure to work on stretching tight muscles. I had a nice massage this week courtesy of Healing Hands, a free program for cancer patients. I prefer a deep tissue massage but doctors orders say soft touch only. Still, free is free! My oldest son Robert and his girlfriend Star came over this evening to tell me that I was going to be a Nana again. The baby is due in September and though I wish that they were married, I am excited to be able to share my life with a new baby, a gift from God for as long as the Lord sees fit.
Next week we resume chemo and an increase in dosage so please be praying that it goes well and the side effects stay minimal.

PSALM 57:1

Be merciful unto me O God, be merciful unto me for my soul trusteth in thee;
yes in the shadow of thy wings will I make my refuge, until these calamaties
be overpast.

Perfect verse for anyone facing trials!