This has been another busy week and it has left me wondering if we will ever find a chemo med that will work. On Tuesday I had an appointment with Dr.Nichols to discuss the continued pain and swelling in my left leg, he thinks it may be coming from my back. Later the same day around 5 o’clock I got a call from the hospital telling me that I needed to come in the same evening for an M.R.I. Apparently my 2 doctors decided it was necessary in order to check for other issues before beginning radiation. After lying stone still for nearly 2 hours every bone in my body was screaming in pain. So far the longest I have been on a chemo med is 3 months and this last one for only 3 treatments. The idea behind treatment has never been to cure me (that’s in God’s hands) but rather to slow down the cancer so that I can have more quality time. I didn’t get treatment Thursday but they did give me the Zometa (to strengthen bones) and of course labs and a doppler was scheduled to check for blood clots because my leg continues to stay swollen. After we left Dr.McNulty we went to radiation for markings in preparation for more radiation which will be on the upper most part of my left thigh where pain radiates and popping occurs (M.R.I cleared my back as cause of swelling).
Friday I had to go to Cape Fear Hospital for the doppler which came back negative for blood clots (thank you Lord) I did my own research today using the cancer site and I have come to the conclusion that I have Lymphedema, common in breast cancer patients and those who have received radiation. I find this curious because I have had a lot of radiation in my left leg and yet no doctor has suggested this as a possible diagnosis. It wouldn’t be the first time that I knew what was wrong and then doctor didn’t!(remember the knee issue? and the hip?). So why am I not getting a paycheck from them?
I am irritated and frustrated that my life and care are in the hands of people (Dr. Nichols excluded) that don’t seem to be paying attention, and it’s not as if I’m quiet or demur!! I know that God is taking care of me and this is all part of the plan so it makes me wonder if I’m missing a message. If I’m right and this is lymphedema and I receive treatment that corrects it, do I keep the cancer doctor I have that seems to care but isn’t catching things unless I insist (thus trusting that this doctor is who God wants me to keep) or what? Maybe I am being used to minister to doctor McNulty in some way that I can’t see because I’m frustrated with him. I guess I just answered my own question!!
Sometimes it is difficult to know what to do, this is where I vent and then pray for guidance.
Well, that was my week and I have no idea what next week will bring but I do know this: I am never alone on this journey and because I have Jesus I have peace. Yes, you can be irritated and frustrated for a moment but don’t stay there or you will lose your peace.
Psalm 4:1
Hear me when I call, O God of my righteousness: thou hast enlarged me when I was in distress; have mercy upon me, and hear my prayer.
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