Yesterday was a really rough day, I made the mistake of thinking that I could stop taking morphine because my calcium levels were dropping, so after chemo Thursday I didn’t take any more. Huge mistake. Turns out that just because the levels dropped didn’t mean the pain was gone. In addition, I continued the Senokot which was to help prevent constipation from morphine. Do you know what happens when you take Senokot and don’t need it? A huge mess!!! I need the morphine, the only way I know to describe the pain is to tell you that it felt like my actual bones were on fire, both legs from thigh to shin. Add to that the swelling in my left leg made me look like the elephant man in lesser form! The lesson in all of this is that cancer is a very complicated, multi -faceted disease and any one without a medical degree in oncology probably should not try to treat themselves. But, hope springs eternal because lessons were learned. I am back on the morphine along with 800 mg of Ibuprophen every 4 hours (for swelling and pain in my knee) and feeling better. It’s curious though that the morphine works for all the other pain except my knee!
I also have to tell you that I am not good at praying for myself, somehow it just seems selfish, but today I asked God to take away the knee pain and wash my body with peace and comfort. 20 minutes and all my prayers were answered (I didn’t expect instant results!) after all, look how long it took me to pray for myself! God is always waiting for his children to ask for his help, why we do wait so long?
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