First let me tell you about the great time my mom and I had at Myrtle Beach. We left Monday morning as Satan tried to discourage me with lots of rain, I asked God to keep us safe and to bless us with a fun time and great memories, he did. The story we will tell and generations after goes something like this: We went to Tangor Outlet to look for shoes more conducive to my current issues, stilettos bad, flats good. Didn’t find a darn thing, including my jeep!! That’s right we lost my jeep, or more accurately we forgot where we parked it. After walking around the outlet shopping for about an hour we then walked the entire perimeter of the outlet looking for my jeep. I was close to believing someone stole it because 2 grown women couldn’t have forgotten where we parked. I was even closer to calling 911 and asking for help, after all I am “disabled” and mom is no spring chicken!!!(just kidding) she did offer to carry me piggy back but then we would have needed an ambulance! Anyway, we laughed and talked the entire time never letting the situation get the best of us. When we rounded the last corner of our journey there sat my jeep waiting patiently right where we left it, who knew? After a long day of shopping and dining out we retired to our room to shower and relax (we did stop at Walmart for healthy snacks to munch on). We were both tired but in spite of trying, we couldn’t sleep so we talked til 4 in the morning! It was honestly a wonderful, fun and relaxing time and I hope that we get the chance to do it again. Thanks mom for being there with me, I love you.
Now, bigger issue at hand. I have had it on my heart to give my testimony at some churches and I believe that it is God leading me. The problem is this, I am not comfortable being the person others are watching. When I was first diagnosed my first thought was”God please don’t let me miss an opportunity to serve you.” I have no problem talking to strangers one on one or very small groups, but a church full of people that I don’t know scares the pooh out of me. Yes, I know the scripture about “doing all things through Christ which strengthens me”, thank you very much! but that’s hard to remember when the thought of standing up in front of a bunch of strangers leaves you shaking in your boots! My problem is this: If I honestly want to serve God (and I honestly do) then I must overcome this fear but how do I overcome this fear without doing the very thing that scares me? See, not so easy is it? I know that I will do what I believe God is calling me to do but I need all of you to be praying about this please. I don’t know how people do it but I do know that if I let my fear stop me from getting out there and sharing what God has done and continues to do for me then what is my testimony really saying? I have always been fearless, except when it comes to being the center of attention, that is another story.
I will keep you posted. Also, Next Wednesday is a trial run for my first radiation treatment. I never imagined there was so much involved in zapping someone! No chemo this week, time to let my little white cells regroup and multiply and my mind do the same!!
1 Peter 5:10 “But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you.”
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