The past 2 weeks have been more of the same physically speaking. The blood transfusion has been a bit of a let down, my breathing began to cause me problems again around 2 1/2 weeks after completing the transfusion. I missed both days of Living Strong this week because I was so winded and my leg is causing problems again. Still, I know of a woman who only has 5% of her lung capacity and is in the final stages of lung cancer, my heart goes out to her and the family as I am reminded of how thankful I am to be as well off as I am. It ”s so sad to be reminded of my own blessings at the expense of someone else’s suffering. There are times when I just want to throw a hissy fit and scream and shout at no one in particular because I get so tired of being tired. Now that’s ironic isn’t it? I never forget just how blessed I am, I see and have known people that suffered a lot more than I have and then I feel guilty for being so selfish. I just read where Joey of Rory and Joey the country singing duo (married) is at the end of her journey with cervical cancer. She will leave behind a new baby girl with down syndrome, step children and her husband and family. How unfair it all seems to me but I am comforted by the fact that she also puts her life and faith in God’s hands. My biggest concern is the effect my death will have on Hannah, we are so close and she has begun to talk more and more about after I’m gone. It breaks my heart to see her hurting but I take every opportunity to discuss things openly with her and to remind her that I am saved and will see her again in heaven.
I had the most amazing and totally unexpected opportunity to witness to someone the other day. This young woman told me that she has felt God pulling her and she wants to learn more and to find a good church so I gave her scripture on what a Bishop/Pastor should be. I feel that if she finds that then everything else within the church community will fall into place. I am planning to ask her if she would like to do a bible study together but I have to be honest, I’m scared to death to be a leader of something so very important. I will continue to pray for courage and wisdom because I believe that this is part of God’s plan.
My next doctors appointment is the day after Thanksgiving and Judy, Sam and I have plans to horseback ride on the 3rd! I’ll let you know how all of this turns out.
Psalm 18:32
It is God that girdeth me with strength and maketh my way perfect.
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