July 9- Well Shut My Mouth!

Well let me just say right now that I never thought I would see the day when anything or anyone could shut me up!  I hadn’t figured God into that equation but I’m pretty sure HE is getting a kick out of this.  Now I say that tongue -n-cheek because I have come to see that by my not being able to yak at my usual pace I have been put in the position of being quiet which after a few days caused something beautiful and unusual (for me) to happen.  I started hearing God clearly, not just the usual conversations I have with God but a deeper sense of communication because I was listening more closely.   Once again God put in action by his design something in all honesty I had thought was enough but clearly wasn’t.   Now having said all of that I also have to say that the source of all of this came from my breathing getting very difficult whenever I would simply stand up.  My heart will start to race and it feels like someone punched me in the stomach, HARD.  I can’t get it under control for as long as 5 minutes sometimes and it scares the heck out of me but I have through trial and error figured out a few ways to slow it down and help but it doesn’t always work.   There were several days this week when I simply couldn’t talk to anyone it just took too much and I had to be very careful not to let it take me to a dark place.   I haven’t left the house for nearly 3 weeks due to heat and especially the humidity and not being able to attend church is hard as well.  I apologize to everyone I had to cancel on when they wanted to visit, I can’t tell you how much I truly appreciate your offers to visit, run errands or anything else I need, unless you’ve ever been in that situation you can not understand how deeply moving it is to know people love and care about you that much.   I have lost the ability to do so many simple things that until I could no longer do them I, like everyone took for granted.  Jumping in the car to go grocery shopping, getting my nails done (you women know) thank goodness our son Justin lives with us and has really stepped up to look out for his parents, even just walking to the kitchen or the restroom takes planning before I get up on my feet.  Every new issue that God allows in my life I pray and seek to know and understand what it is God wants me to do with it and how I can be a part of His plan because I and my journey are all a plan that God is working through me if I am willing to listen, really listen and then obey Him.   So now we can see clearly why God chose now to Shut My Mouth!   I allow myself to mourn my loses but only for a moment because the loses do hurt but God isn’t trying to hurt me He’s refining me and let’s face it, that can be painful.  I trust my God and I will keep listening and praying and obeying as long as I have breath in these lungs.

ISAIAH 61:10

“I will greatly rejoice in the Lord, my soul shall be joyful in my God;  for he hath clothed me with the garments of salvation, he hath covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decketh himself with ornaments, and as a bride adorneth herself with jewels.”