Today was a long and busy day and in the mix of it all was my doctors appointment. Mom, dad, husband, and granddaughter went with me and I laugh at the thought of the doc opening the door to my room because I know that he never knows what awaits him on the other side. Now, I try to be a “good” patient but I have my own ideas of what works for me say for example doubling my neurotin because the original dose didn’t do a thing for the pain. Also, I must have gone to med school in a previous life (no, I do not believe in that) just say’n…because I love to diagnose myself instead of calling the doc and letting him do the diagnosing. As I mentioned before, my left knee is causing me a lot of pain and just today started feeling like it was “crunching” when I walk. With both legs, back and hips hurting I decided it was all caused from favoring my left leg!
What do I get for my efforts?, an x-ray tomorrow. This of course is better than anything involving an I.V!! The doc is concerned because I am still having pain which would seem to indicate that the lupron shots aren’t working. When I go back on the 24th I will get lupron, zometa, blood work, and see the doc again, he will run another C3-15 test. This test tells him rather or not the cells are slowing down, speeding up or staying the same. I may have mentioned before that the doc found it hard to believe that I was o.k with dying, I think he may be getting it now, but it made me think about 2Corinthians 4:8 “We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down but not destroyed.” When I apply this scripture to my current situation I get this: Cancer has many many complications that come from every direction (troubled) but I’m not worried or afraid(distressed), the medical side of it can be very confusing for me (perplexed) but I am not hopeless (despair) questioned and doubted (persecuted) because I am not afraid to die, god gives me the strength to answer the non believer (not forsaken) and though I have days when the pain seems to get the best of me (cast down) I never forget that my strength is in the Lord (not destroyed).
No matter what we face or how great and never ending the trial seems to be, Satan can not have what we refuse to relinquish to him (peace, contentment, and a stillness that can only be found when you rest in the Lord.
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