The past few days have been filled with drama (something I detest and try to avoid at all cost) in one form or another. My 15 yr old granddaughter has been with us for 2 weeks and her father is learning how to parent a teenage girl. It would be a lot easier if her father and mother would stop fighting for power and remember that they are the adults and then act like it.
Wednesday was the longest day ever… by the time I finally got back home from all the errands that needed to be done, I was hot, tired, hurting so bad that no meds helped ease the pain, and yes! I was cranky. After I settled down to rest and sort through my emotions I had to accept (yet again) that I just can’t do all the things that I once did, at least not all in one day anyway! Then I cried, (which I hate to do but sometimes it just sneaks up on me) I cried because sometimes it feels like tiny pieces of me are being stolen away by this cancer and there’s nothing that I can do to stop it.
I suppose that I could be more aggressive with my treatment but what would be the point if it leaves me so sick that I can’t even get out of bed? I have been nauseous and retching stomach bile for the past 2 days and I have missed so much church that I may be considered a visitor the next time that I show up!! I know that this “mood” will pass as it always does because god is in control, and for the moment I am in this state of mind for a reason. I always ask myself “What is it that god wants me to learn from this particular thing?” The past few weeks I have learned a few things: I sometimes need help, I can’t do everything that I use to do, I have no choice but to slow down (no, really! I can’t move as fast as I once did) and most importantly- to keep my peace I must accept that I have no control over what is happening to my body.
Blessings do keep coming from all of this though. My sweet friend and mother to some of our wonderful grandchildren,Anne asked if she could do a fundraiser for me and George. To the surprise of us both I said yes. (Thank you Rosanne for reminding me not to steal blessings) Anne and I spent a few hours today going over ideas and planning how to do the fundraiser, I am blessed to have people in my life that will do the things for me that I would not. For anyone interested here is how it will go: tickets are $10.00 each or buy 2 get 1 free. The prize is $150.00 cash and the drawing will be October 4, 2014 (no need to be present). All monies will be used for funeral expenses totaling $6800.00 first and living expenses second.
Psalm 11:1 “In the Lord put I my trust; how say ye to my soul, Flee as a bird to your mountain?
I love you and admire your strength; and your faith in God!!