Yesterday was my first iron infusion appointment and it started out terrible except for the fact that my parents and sister surprised me by showing up for support. I was so thankful mama was there by my side because there was a misunderstanding on the part of the nurse so instead of using my port for the infusion I was stuck 4 times and with negative results and I was on the verge of losing it completely. Finally I asked again why we couldn’t use the port and it turns out that she thought I was getting chemo through the port when in fact I am taking oral chemo. In the end a wonderful nurse named Roseann came in and got the infusion started through the port and 90 minutes later I was free to go home. I go back on Wednesday and Roseann has promised to be there to get things started. My surgery will go as planned because my surgeon, as I understand it has already put in action a plan for an iron and blood transfusion either during or after surgery. While stopped at a light on my way home I watched all the cars going by on their way to do whatever they were going to do and I found myself wondering how many of those people were going through some catastrophic event? I hear from others all the time that I don’t look like I have cancer or that I look so good for someone with cancer so how often do we see someone who is very ill but to look we would never know it? We go about our lives living and doing what must be done and it makes me sad to know there are others out there that could use support(not everyone has a wonderful family and church family). These are the things that weigh on my mind lately. In many ways I feel disconnected and my emotions are all over the board but I saw a church sign that said it all, it read: “It’s o.k to cry in difficult times, even Jesus wept.” I have always tried to keep my emotions in check and this sign was a reminder that if Jesus was brought to tears than who the heck was I to deny the very emotions that he gave me? I hope that when the surgery is done and I have healed Jesus will show me what he has planned for me to do because I am anxious to do more in his name.
Isaiah 40:31
“But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk; and not faint.”
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