January 8-When It Becomes Real.

Today was very cold! Just say’n. Labs, met with doctor to go over new plan, begin new chemo med and get monthly dose of Zometa. Today was a good day, Mama J and sister Sheila went to doctor with me and Sheila got t see what goes on with my treatment, I hope this will put her mind at ease now that she sees that it doesn’t hurt me. One of the front desk ladies surprised me by paying my office co-pay today, I have no idea why she did this but I count it a blessing from a wonderful sweet woman. So, I asked the doc today to tell me what kind of time I have left if this med doesn’t work. He started out to give me an answer but it got stuck somewhere between his brain and his mouth so I asked if it would be easier to answer me if I told him what I thought, based on my own research, so I did and told him 1-1 1/2 years. He responded with a year! Now I discovered something in that brief moment and it is this: Knowing that I am going to die was a lot easier when it was abstract but even though I knew in my gut that I have about a year, it made it official when he confirmed it for me, it made it really real. Of course all of this is based on earthly facts and data, God is faith and miracles! I will continue to prepare for death while living each day full of the life that God has given me and praising him for whatever I face (moment by moment). I am scheduled to have a long bone x-ray, this will show the doctor any stress fractures or tumors on my (you guessed it!!) long bones, if there are any to be seen.
With my lower back hurting constantly Mama J thinks he may be concerned about that as well, and mama does know best! Anyway, nothing is carved in stone (well except the 10 commandments by Moses of course) so I will just wait and see what God has planned for me!

Delight in the Almighty
Job 22: 26-30